This post is sort of a re-post of  what I wrote during the Christmas holidays.  As I thought about Mother’s day and entertaining in general, I’ve decided to  post it again. Entertaining at home is what it is, entertaining at home. The same etiquette stands no matter what the occasion. So here it goes…

“Gee, this year the Butterfields and Hamburgs are coming. I must put my best foot forward. You know everyone will be talking about how lavishly I entertain my guest. Have to make a grand-slam first impression! Oh, I almost forgot; I must pick up those silver candlesticks at Bloomies while they’re on sale.”

Wow. What happened to the hospitality in entertaining? Here’s what I wrote on my fan page wall yesterday: (yesterday was actually back in December)

Don’t ‘dress to impress’ with your home’s decor this holiday season.That’s comparing your home with another; trying to measure up to or exceed. 2 Cor.10:12 admonishes that when we measure ourselves by another and compare with another, we are without understanding. Ouch!

I want to leave something with you that will have an indelible affect; Something that you can carry-over through the years and use over and over again. Many if not all of you will be celebrating Mother’s Day, during this season. You’ll be entertaining your friends and family in some format, whether at your abode or theirs. So along with that I thought it was appropriate to share with you my Kingdom blueprint for successful entertaining all the time with peace of mind, which is nothing short of good ole hospitality.

Friends and Family: You are Always Welcomed Here

I’m reminded of what Apostle Peter wrote:

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.

1. Everyday Life at Home. Paul tells us in the book of Romans to practice hospitality. Generally, we take this as referring to guests in our home. But begin to practice hospitality at home by first living hospitably with your family. Do special things for them not only during holidays, but find ways to be a blessing any time.

2. Entertaining and Hospitality Home and home life is a gift from God. So there’s no need to become over-dramatic and stressed out thinking everything must be perfect before you practice hospitality. I used to feel this way. By the time my guest arrived, I was so tired and sometimes irritable from trying to have everything perfect that I couldn’t enjoy my guest. It is never about us or what we have, it’s about blessing others with what we are given to share.

3. Peace of Mind: Preparation. When I was growing up, my grandmother was always prepared for an impromptu meal because guest would drop by without calling. (That was the norm in the southern community where we lived). She always had a baked pie and/or cake in the refrigerator. She was prepared to share a meal with our unexpected guests. She would entertain her guest from a heart and love with hospitality. Staying prepared for an impromptu meal or an unexpected guest is simple. Keep simple things on hand like hard and soft cheese, crackers, fresh or frozen fruit, baby spinach, red peppers, green olives, nuts, a bag of linguine or noodles, etc. to prepare a quick and easy dish. Get the idea? Also, practice placing cloth napkins at the table setting even with a quick brunch or late lunch. This sends the message of hospitality to your family and guests that they are special. I prefer using cloth napkins over paper napkins because it practices Green Living and being a good steward of the Earth God designed for us.

4. Home Living: Be Creative Hospitality is also for you and your family, so live creatively at home with your beautiful things. My grandmother and mother would never use the good china and crystal-ware unless guest were coming. I admire them for the desire to share their cherished things with guest, but what they didn’t know is hospitality is the Kingdom way of home living. Use what you have in creative ways. Take a crystal glass and fill it with candy or mints. If you don’t have crystal, china or silver, there still are beautiful things you can pull out of your closet or pantry and use. A bowl or dish that you cherish can serve as a beautiful center piece filled with Christmas ornaments. After holidays are over, fill this same bowl with fruit, candles, nuts, potpourri, your favorite flowers or chocolate kisses.

Take the time to lovingly prepare for your guest, but seek to enjoy the relationship while communing and sharing together. Refresh your guest with yourself. Don’t allow what you don’t have to stop you from being hospitable and a blessing to family and guests. It is not about you, but those He places in your life that your hands can touch for Him. You never know when you may be entertaining angels unaware.

Sharing my passion,

Deana

©2010 Deana Murphy. All rights Reserved. You may reprint this article in
 its entirety with author's contact and bio information.
Deana Murphy is a dynamic speaker, award winning author and a conscious home and

lifestyle expert who has been helping people for years design a home they love, transform their lifestyle, and approach life’s design in view of Spirit and family relations.She has been interviewed for O at Home Magazine, Empowering Everyday Women,

Spectacular Homes, SORMAG, and Meredith publications to name a few.

She has also appeared on HGTV and Fine Living.

The other day I was brainstorming with one of my friends over some things we are endeavoring to accomplish as we planned our upcoming conference in Los Angeles. We were charged and caught up in the moment by what God is doing in both our lives.

I met Linda while I was on an assignment and we sort of gravitated towards one another. But the amazing thing about her is that she keeps me accountable and I her, probably by default because we understand that success is a choice. Continuing to bounce ideas off one another I suddenly realized that we were realigning ourselves, designing for success, and walking into our purpose.

Linda and I talked about there being many who have no clue what true success really is. I believe that success is a choice, and it must be cultivated. The world suggests that our success requires us to turn away from the path of godliness – to neglect developing our relationship with God; to disregard ethics and morals for the sake of getting ahead.

I asked my husband Eric to define success. Out of his mouth I heard, well it is NOT money. (I smiled in delight). You have to know my husband. He doesn’t usually directly answer a question. In legal terms, he generally demurs, or delay by making a point of order. Befitting of him. His mind is trained that way as he is a law student. But then he went on to say something so profound, “Success is doing the will of God; and in God’s will we find our purpose, and when we know our purpose, we have found success.” I could not have said it better. Humm…

In cultivating a successful lifestyle, home life, family relationship, ministry or business, much the same as designing a space, or a room or even a entire residence or office space, there must be a process. The process of designing for success begins within us because wherever we go, whatever we do, we are there; When we are there, we make an impact on the environment, the people, the world. Our successes aren’t for us alone, it affect others. It begins with the one you see in the mirror. Michael Jackson said it so well,

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror,I’m asking him to change his ways and no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself, and then make a change!”

Success causes one to ask questions like, “what do I have to become?” We have to become what we think. This means we have to relinquish the old way of thinking and cultivate a new. My 5 secrets to designing for success look like this:

1. Don’t Serve Your Thoughts

You can’t move forward as long as the problem or the obstacle that you are looking at is the biggest thing in your life. If you are thinking about the problem more than the solution, you are serving your thoughts. There is a way of escaping negative thought patterns. Talk to the man or woman in the mirror and tell him or her who you desire to be and what you desire to become. Make it automatic each time you see yourself in a mirror. And by all means look in a mirror often!

2. Take Control

Quit allowing your circumstances and challenges to assume your thought life. Instead, realize that circumstances won’t ever change until you change. Remember, you aren’t alone. you have God’s thoughts. You have the Holy Spirit to strengthen you and you have the mind of Christ.

3. Enlist a Master Mind Group

This is so very important. Get around people who are full of faith and have attained and traveled where you want to go. Don’t rehearse your problems to them! Make yourself listen to them. Join in with their faith and resist your old way of thinking,  seeing and saying things.

4. Prepare

Don’t be like the foolish virgins in the parable at Matthew 25. When they went to meet the bridegroom, though they took their lamps but took no extra oil and therefore were not prepared for the unexpected. We must be responsible for preparing ourselves by:

• Becoming the Learned. Read what others are saying. Read about current events. Read your Bible. Study to show yourself approved.

• Competing only with Yourself. When you compete with you, then you are challenging you. Competing with someone shows signs of immaturity. You cannot succeed by trying to out-do someone else.

• Journaling your Thoughts. You must be prepared to see around the corner. Write down the plan, a one, five and ten year plan. Everything you will ever need is within you. The design is within you.

5. Get a Strategic Mindset, Serve Others and Seek their Wisdom

Today I tweeted some thoughts and then retweeted some thoughts of others. I believe this is a great place to share as they fit in and are self-explanatory:

• It’s difficult dealing with an adult who acts like a child…..put them in TIME OUT! @JamalBryant

• As you go about your day, look for opportunities to add extra value to your customers and the people you work with. @JennyFerns

• Keep your eyes on your dreams, feet on the ground and you will get there one step at a time @JennyFerns

• Mastermind with yourself for 30 minutes each day, gets ideas flowing, answers bubbling. @ ProsperitybyDesign

• Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner. @LesBrown

• Instead of doing 4,000 things 1 time…do 1 thing 4,000 times. That will bring success. @StephenSwisher
  

• Life is personal journey. People who give so much time to judge others, have no time to improve their life. @CodeinDesign

• God hates cheating in the marketplace; rigged scales are an outrage.” Proverbs 20:23 (MSG) @HaroldHerring

• Watch what you say and say what you mean. Words can create an atmosphere that can be felt. @FaithladyDeana

• Don’t loose the simplicity of a child. Just believe God and do it! @FaithladyDeana

Designing for success is a choice. And, of course you don’t need permission to succeed. Linda and I know this and we are holding one another accountable for the directions we are taking in this journey called life. Designing for success is the road we have taken by merely making a quality decision. What about you?

Leave me your comments, questions or thoughts. I’d love to hear from you.

Sharing my passion,

Deana